Christmas Comes Early

Lewis Black is livid that Christmas starts the day after Halloween. Because my siblings both have in-laws that need their holiday cheer, my family is celebrating Christmas this Sunday, December 12. I just met my future brother-in-law and I now I have to add him to my fucking list? What the hell is that?

"He likes coffee," my sister says. "Get him a travel mug."

And yet I'm the only member of the family travelling for these fucking holidays. Why not get me a fucking travel mug, eh?

And yes, I'm still coughing up brown shit from my chainsmoking, bingedrinking, Italiansexing weekend. Thank you to all who contributed. You bitches know who you are.