Not your standard issue late twenty-something's blog.

Thursday, February 24, 2005

Separating the wheat from the chaff

The chaff being the person who dicked me/the relationship biting the dust and the wheat being the gifts they left behind, for example:

Matt (just call me "Hot Food Fatty")
A set of Henckels knives
Measuring cups and spoons
Palm pilot (used)
Archaic food processor (circa 1950)
Mediocre blender (doesn't crush ice, not suitable for margaritas. as if I blend anything else).
A copy of Farenheit whatdoyoucallit, I never got into it.

Donna (aka the Italian Adam Sandler)
One used travel mug
A Louis Vutton (fake I imagine) planner (his parents are involved in selling stolen fake goods)
A VHS tape of rapper Snow ("Informer. Likky boom boom bam.")
One drinking glass with instructions on how to mix Vodka with fruity beverages
One long-sleeved Skid Row t-shirt

Production douchebags
My one-woman show which in turn made a relationship with an agent who ultimately got me a commercial. Ha! Bitches. Dirty smelly Spanish prostitute whores. I wave my ass in your general direction and grab my left one.

4 Comments:

Blogger Gabe said...

YOU HAVE A SKID ROW T-SHIRT?!?! NO WAY!!!!

12:49 PM

 
Blogger John said...

just talked to you. you're dread dunk.

in other news, please let me see Fatty Boom Batty's PDA. I will laugh for hours.

11:39 PM

 
Blogger Timothy said...

daly just gave me the clap -- he wanted me to have something he'd never received as a comic.

12:08 PM

 
Blogger Gerard said...

Now you tell me about the stolen goods! Think about knock-offs I missed out on...

3:01 PM

 

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