Hungover with a side of fries

I'm going to get a t-shirt made that says No More Jews. It's not that I'm anti-Semetic, I just can't date Jewish men anymore. I actually went to church yesterday and the mass was said by an old Irish priest who was hilarious. "I would love to talk to you about the power of prayer and say that our prayers are always answered but in my experience, that's simply not the case. For example, New York is up in arms with their prayers but all the folks in Boston are praying, too. Needless to say, not everyone's prayers are going to be answered."
Perhaps you have to imagine an Irish accent with that one.
Last night, Jonny 5'9, who I met at Cafe Noir, was about 5'5, quite portly and had an effeminate, nasal voice. I can see why he didn't want to talk to me via cell phone prior to our date. He picked up the check and I started to chip in and he said "no, I got it." We were both tanked and had started the night with a shot of Patron so I asked him if he was sure. He was. Then, "Actually, do you have thirty dollars?"
He loved my hair. Said it made me look Jewish.