Ah, Fatrick McDouchebag

The man previously referred to as Patty Mean in earlier posts shall hereafter be referred to as Fatrick McDouchebag, of the wifebeater-clad beergut and black backhair.

Said Fatrick recently called me "a very bitter and angry person" over IM'ing. I laughed out loud. His impetus for this verbal lashing of the IM variety, you ask? I chastised him for his overzealous use of exclamation points, referring to them as femmy and overused in written communication, much like the smiley face. I also suggested that he was femmy and overused. This brought me great joy.

I'm here to tell ya, folks. I don't think anger and bitterness are especially bad things. (Mind you, I'm giving Fatrick's statement far more creedence than it deserves). I am angry. I am bitter. I've been an extremely nice person for most of my life and where has it gotten me? Dicked over by more people than I can count, including two "best" friends, countless men and a priest.I've given people the benefit of the doubt, excused unacceptable behavior as a fluke rather than a pattern of douchitude and swallowed my pride in the name of politeness when I should've been biting someone's head off and/or kicking them in the groin.

That being said, I think I'm entitled to some anger, Fatrick. And why shouldn't I throw some of it your way? You pussed out on me when my dad was at his sickest, when I needed you, or at least the role you were claiming to fill, most. And if you didn't fuck someone else while we were dating, while you were professing how "into" me you were, you certainly got secretive/evasive/quiet on me all of the sudden. And if a guy you just started dating suddenly doesn't have his hands all over you, he's got 'em somewhere else. And where hands go, a dick surely follows.

And even now, when you claim that you want to grab a drink and catch up, you make no attempt to make that happen, knowing full well that you work across the street from me and we frequent the same bar in my neighborhood.

You, Fatrick McDouchebag, are a dick. And that's not bitterness and anger. That's just the truth. Clearly women in your past, probably not terribly intelligent ones, have allowed you to get away with such ridiculous behavior. It makes me laugh out loud.

May you find all the happiness you deserve, you fucking tool! :-)