And almost immediately I felt sorry/ Cuz I didn't think this would happen again

I was still drunk till about 9:30pm last night. It occurs to me that perhaps I should lay off the sauce for a bit. I think technically I'm not supposed to mix Effexor XR with the booze anyway.

My dad is healthy enough at this point to be worried about me:

"What is it, Kad?"
"Oh, Dad."
"Is it boys, Kad? Boyfriends? Ex-boyfriends?"
"It's not just one thing, Dad."
"Is it money?"
(it's always money)
"Is it ya career?"

And I told him that something that was really nice got screwed up. Something that made me happy. That a handsome man with blue eyes looked at me with a kind of awe/respect/want for a few weeks till he, like so many others, turned into a douchebag.


My head swims again and I vow to take care of myself and my needs and my agenda.

I really liked being looked at like that, though.