open life, insert shitbasket

so it's been a rough monthish for yours truly. perhaps the most comedic element of all is that i can't go into it. well, parts of it i can. there's the part about my dad ceasing to talk to me. there's the part about someone i really like unknowingly hurting my feelings. hopefully she and i can see eye to eye. in my gut, i think it'll be fine. although sometimes when you mean well, things can sometimes still go poorly but if you truly come from a place of kindness and handle things like a grown-up, i like to believe things work out. and no, if you're reading this, you're not the person in question. and no, if you're a guy, you're not the person in question. thanks and god bless.

my sister and i have a joke. when we start acting irrational, we tell ourselves "Ron has entered the building." i know i have some of his worst faults and it scares the crap out of me. but whereas he often holds things in until some petty thing makes him explode out of nowhere, i think i sort of throw my upsettedness at people and hope they'll help me out with it. i often feel like steve carrell's character in Anchorman: "LOUD NOISES!"

http://image3.excite.co.jp/jp/cinema/photos/Reps/989967/MCDANTH/MCDANTH_EC047_T.JPG
i talked to at least three people last night while sobbing my face off. i had a run-in with one of my managers at the subway and he was a total prick to me. but, as he's a total prick to me in the office as well, i suppose he's consistent, if nothing else.

but moodiness, enlarged boobies also come with captain bloodsnatch and his arrival brings the sigh of relief and the feeling of "oh, that" ... sort of that feeling of insanity that hits you when you're tripping and you remind yourself the gentle waves of the ceiling and the walls are all in your head and it's strangely fascinating. thus do i look at myself.

been trying to think about what to give up for lent. will it be the occasional smoke? the only true vice i have at this point is coffee. this month i've had 4 glasses of wine and about 3 beers. THIS MONTH. That's barely a given tuesday most times of my life.

and it's official. yesterday was my "try on the pants you used to wear all the time before you developed beer thighs" day. and, dare i say it, there is now only one, one of six pairs of pants that i can't zip up. i was able to successfully button and zip the other five pairs. will i be wearing any of them to work this month? prolly not. but how nice to have a goal. april fools day i will have another report. for now, i am six pounds lighter and certainly healthier/stronger.